nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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