I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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