so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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