wrigley field is MILF paradise
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
