My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
