so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
