I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
