Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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