Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
