She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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