Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cut my penus on the lid.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
