I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
how does that bad decision feel?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
