there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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