you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
