First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
