he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
