wrigley field is MILF paradise
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
