dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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