Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my sisters under your porch take her home
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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