She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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