I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
