You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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