I can tuck mytits in my pants
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
