i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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