do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
