You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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