I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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