I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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