OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
