If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
