I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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