Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
