I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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