He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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