omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
