the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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