she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
