They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
