i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
