I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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