no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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