Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
