11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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