Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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