so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
