Hey man sorry I got all grabby
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
