Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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