i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
