He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
