His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
