Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
